That must be why he created Man… All good is gone, & evil will be my “good”. Should I ask for a reprieve only to get it in the neck twice as bad as now? So, he leaves us out forever.

But the wounds I’ve caused are too deep & reconciliation would only lead to a worse relapse. I’ve drawn those in Hell with promises & bragging that I could defeat God, & holding my throne ruling overall of them. I’m too afraid of what the others would think of me if I did that. Either way is Hell – real Hell, or mental Hell. “But the only outcomes are if I stay put & face his eternal wrath, & if I got back to him with my tail between my legs & beg for forgiveness, & have the feeling of despair in always being subject to his will.I’ve got no one to blame but myself for what’s happened. This led me to forget all the wonderful things he’d given me. But I didn’t like the idea of having a boss & how I would never climb high enough in rank & importance. God did not deserve such an outburst from me. Pride & Ambition caused me to start a war against Heaven. But you bring up painful memories for me, of how far I’ve fallen. Satan : “Sun, you look down on this new world like a god.He remembered what he’d once been, what will happen – this was going to get even worse. But Satan came down to Earth to take his revenge on God by tempting Man… Now Satan approached Eden gazing on it & he was filled with doubt about the task at hand. If only Adam & Eve had not been tempted by Satan or were able to avoid being deceived by him.

Paradise lost book 4